“…the potion…”

last night, was a singular night…

“me” and “her”, as though it was meant to be were able
to happen upon a vastly powerful and interdimensional elixer.

a “potion” the vampire girlz honor even as highly
as the “3n3rgy” they revere as totemic to their very survival.

it was just suddenly offered to me by a close friend and so it was consumed,,

little did “we” know what was about to occur.

this “potion”, you see, is a truly pure alchemical substance.

it is a “potion” that May Dare Many Away….

some return, some do not.

especially those who go alone, and find no one waiting for them at the top of their own “stairs”…

this “potion” is absolute —

in and of it self…highly “mollecular“.

it is of ritual value as well, this “potion”, to the culture of the vampire girlz i call “family”.

to partake of this substance is something kept rare and always respected for its authenticity and authority.

but, this substance is not only absolutely an unparalleled experience of the mind —

…it is a “stairway” into TH3 TWYST3D KYNGD0M, itself.

the infinite “red steps”.

up and down, where S/HE reigns,,

and “her” name, there in this kyngd0m is —

kiirsten black.


and it is within TH3 TWYST3D KYNGD0M…

where S/HE is G0D.


“we”, us 2, met eachother “halfway”, and only in the way that this alchemical “potion” can allow.

and the journey either way up or down those red steps is a truly horrifying, ecstatic, feverish, chaotic, euphoric, unstable and VERY REAL “time”, between spaces, where, while within the grasp of this “potion”; whether it be at the top of the red steps, or the bottom…

S/HE is there, in this TWYST3D KYNGD0M where “her” and “i” both…”exist” and “live”…

as “gift” and “curse”.


“2” while still, and forever, “1”.

these are the very very “red steps”, of which a “potion”
like this can manifest when S/HE must speak in 1 voice
to the 1 person that is hardest to find here in REALITY —


this is the reazon, “the mollecular potion“, is a ‘potion’ so highly prized…by vampire girlz,
just like “her”.

and, by the human boyz, just like me, who live only
to love and protect both these girlz and the ritualz
i have been privileged to be a witness to and
even, from “time to time”, a participant in.


you see, before the “potion”, it had been such a confusing night, in a very confusing place, in a very confusing world.

which, usually, i not only expect with “her”…

after all, S/HE is a very specific kind of vampire —

a siren“.

and for “her”, and “her” charms, as such, “i” possess
eternal affection.

and, so, last night, when…

as if out of no where and every where all at once…

there it was, “the mollecular potion“,
which can change everything…

and which, “we” drank of, without fear —

and then continued towards those manifesting stairs,
1 of “us” walking up the red steps and the other walking the steep, spiraling red steps downward, to meet, alchemically in the middle.

this place —

TH3 TWYST3D KYNGD0M; the mercurial merging of both
our 2 wurlds, forming like a portal in the near distance…

until both of these comforting and illusory paradigms we both hold as REAL, forget which is which and then —

there “we” are…

only, now…as “us“.

purely nothing more than “me” and “her”.

as “1”.

and later, as “she”, the G0D of the UND3RWURLD,
held my hand, somewhere in the middle
on those very very red steps…

and as we looked at both of “our selves”
and as well, at the very reflection of “ourself“,
as “we” are when in that black darkness of perfek light,
as in — the light of REAL LIFE

S/HE appears and is there,
as it is meant to be, within this ritual,

and there…

“her” needing to trust only “me”
in this kyngd0m of a perfek present tense,
just as “i” appear there for “her”
to simply and completely return that sacred trust
in a symbiotic synchronicity that, to “me” —


and it is this “truth”, where you find the true point
of “potions” like these; those elixers or rarity
and intelligent design, that remove the “you” from
your selves, so “you” can be 1
with “herself” as well as “yourself“,
and in that, both become —


which is the divine alchemical marraige we all
search for, in all we do, big or small, every minute
of every day…

even on a quantum level.

trying to hear our own voice,
trying to see our own face and to know,
above or below, that no matter what…

we reflect one another,
to know that both each of our selves
and each other are —


therefore, finding that truth,
if that is what it is…

becomes the most honest and most terrifying
beauty there can ever be witnessed…

and an experience that must be declared and respected
as we do ‘myth’, or as we do ‘love’ or ‘hate’,
whatever any of that means to “you” or “me”…

or no one or everyone.


you see, no matter what…games or not…

“she” and “i” are 1.

and further…we are REAL.

and i, for “1”, am blessed to be a part of this ritual.

and, of course a part of “S/HE“.

for this, within our own TWYST3D KYNGD0M,
has now become for “us”, the happiness
of both existence as well as it’s
subjective twin, which we call —


i will never ever be lonely again, if i choose not to want to be.

and neither will “her”.

because all “i” ever want for “her” is exactly
what S/HE is to both of “us“…

a way to always remember that no matter how hard
it is to climb those red steps, either up and into
the OV3RWURLD, or down and into the UND3RWURLD…

or somewhere halfway in between —

as in, our TWYST3D KYNGD0M…

even if it is only just once and a while,
where up here with “me” becomes just one of the masses
and an otherwise insignificant part of the “leviathan”,
and not a G0D at all…

spilling “her self” into the annex of a communal,
physical reality where there are never choices
made real without organic consequences
and no one else gets it or even cares to get it,
that to “YOU”, it is all just a “game
we play…

because here, no one else is playing…

and because, up here…

everything is REAL.

like it or not.

and that is the scariest thing
ever, to “her”.

to be just a face.
in a crowd.
a nobody.
and a nothing.

from no where at all…just like everybody else.

where every one “askz”,

and yet no one “carez”.

and where everyone “exists“,

and yet few truly “live“.

this, our so called “real wurld”,

a gift and a curse

just like “us”.


simply because THAT is exactly where
S/HE wants to be, for whatever it will ever be,
or not be…

or whatever else.

to, like all else, only ever truly feel at home by always wondering what that damned wurd even means.

and, until now, for “her” and “i”,
this complex REALITY could only ever be acheived
with a VERY strong “substance”.

like this, “the mollecular potion“…

which, like S/HE, is nothing more than —

one of a kind“.


but now, “we” are “above“… as “we” are “below“.

for always. and, just the 2 of “us”.

“she” and “me”, together —

the true alchemy that transforms
both of our 2 kyngd0ms —

into “1 wurld“.


and, yet, all i keep thinking about,
even in bearing witness to the great rarity
of truth and magick and ritual
that is “us“…

are the moments,
deep in the grip of this, our “potion”…

when “she”, squeezing my hand so hard
and asking “me” over and over…

“do you still love me…??”

“am i gonna be okay…???

to which, i squeeze her perfek hand back…

tight and safe and with true love,

and smile through my own fears,

if only for “her”,

to clearly say all of those things, said…

without any wurds at all.


see, as “i” always say…

i absolutely love this girl.

whoever “she” is.

i love “her”.

with every molecule in my heart and mind.

“she” and “i” are not like twins…

we are twins.


as it always will be…

as above, as it is below.

in the UND3RWURLD, where “she” will always be, to “me”…


and in the OV3RWURLD…

where “i”, provide a wurld where S/HE can be FREE
to choose, like the rest of us,
whether or not there is a need
for a G0D…at all.

also, if “she” was ever to want
to hold her trembling hand in mine…

for any reason,

or none at all —

it is always there, and only for “her”.

and that is what “i” call —



because both of “us”, and both of “us” alone —

make the wurld

and we can make that wurld either real or unreal…

or somewhere in between.

so, this is for you, kirsten black

as it is now, and always shall be…


“What men call the shadow of the body
is not the shadow of the body…

but it is the body of the soul.”

Oscar Wilde

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